My little sister aka the Queen... well I hate her so much since not once in my life has she not insult me or taunt me. I feel really depress everyday cause of her. I sometimes with she isn't near me because if she isn't, I'm in a better mood. I'm always depress when I'm near her cause she has the urge to complain or compare me to something. And that's depressing.

I can't stand everyday hearing her say something that makes me mad. I'm literally crying every time she says something. Even something small like omg stupid. It's just depressing. Not once has she apologize to me. Not once. She usually acts like nothing happens the next day. That makes me mad. It makes me all moody cause she insults me and never says sorry.

Not only that, but when she insults me, she brings in all my characteristics in. For example, she says

• "At least i'm not stupid like you. I'm in AP/Honor classes and your in those dumb Mexican classes."
  
• "Your so deaf and blind. Stupid. I'm happy i'm not like you... blind, deaf and stupid. "
• "CRYBABY CRYBABY. "
• This is one thing i hate most about her... she talks over you. When i'm saying something she goes "nah nah nah nah blah blah blah hee hee hee...." She practically ignores all i have to say. This is what happens when we fight. She always does that. She talks over you.
• "FREAKIN Anime freak. Go die with your computer and manga. Stupid."

**This is what I hear her say every day when she is piss about something. I despise her and I hope that in the future, I don't have any family gathering with her at all.

The Queen's Excuse:

1. She says i'm really slow... Well i am, but you don't just snap at me. Gosh... i'm the older sister and she's the younger one, but she doesn't have any respect.
2. She says i'm stupid cause i don't know how to spell and also cause i'm not in any "advance" classes that i can't help her on her hw. Well... sry... i'm not a competitive person nor am i good at spelling. English isn't my thing especially writing... i totally suck, but i love reading though. Hilarious right?
3. Since i share computer with my little sister, she would always make me get off saying i'll be blind and deaf cause i listen to music using headphones. This i can't deny...since this is the truth. i'm on the computer a lot cause of anime, manga, music, videos, and reading people's blog. Updating stuff. But it really hurts when someone tells you directly like that. Especially Queen since she always say that.

** I think Queen has no consideration to hurting others' feelings. She practically talks bad about everyone every day. She even hurts me with her cruel words every day. She is like the replica of my mom. My mom is cruel and always taunts me too. My mom would say "Amy your so quiet. You don't even have friends. "

I know i'm not close to people nor do i have many friends, but i believe she mustn't say that in front of me or loud enough for me to hear because it makes me cry and extremely depress. My mom doesn't have any consideration. Not only does she talks about my "friend" issues, she just got to spread it to everyone. Familes... church... friends... gramps... etc. IT is truly none of her business to spread my problems.

It's not like i don't try to be close to people, but i'm rather shy. i'm not outgoing so it's hard for me but i'm trying. I'm actually trying, but having my parents put me down makes it hard for me to make friends. It makes me more depress.

So in order for me not to be depress, i usually play computer or im people or do something that doesn't involve interacting with my parents or the Queen. This actually solves my problem. I rather interact with people i hang at school instead of family. The friends at my school are more nice and don't speak cruelly about me... so far i haven't hear someone talking bad about me so it's good.

My goal to prevent the syndrome of depression:
-avoid the Queen at all cost... steer away Amy.
-When Queen ask to use computer, just get off even though watching anime or reading manga.
-When finish eating dinner, walk away from the family.
-watch anime or read manga to make me smile.
-attempt to look at colleges so i can decide on career.
-watch drama, listen to music, do hw.
-read interesting articles to enhance my intelligence.
- don't go to church anymore since going to church makes me depress since my cousins are there. It's not that i hate them, but rather the fact the queen would always be super mean and always compare me to them. Of course they are smarter since they took high classes and they have a neat set of vocabulary. (not my cuzins fault, but the queen.) Church in my opinion didn't change my sister and mother in any way that is possible good. They are the same as always.... mean and hypocrite especially my mom. She changes her voice and attitude like changing the page of a book. Scary.

Today, I learn how to use the blue tooth. I'm so happy. I never thought blue tooth is of value till now. lol. I guess I'm slow on today's technology if I'm still in the blue tooth process, but like i care. I am just satisfied that I learned how to use a blue tooth by myself. I'm a brilliant learner. YEAH! Maybe I should get my degree in college with computering or something cause computer is awesome.

Now i can put songs onto my cellphone. This is so cool. I have already got the song Canon in D Major on my phone. Sounds good and I can use it as my ring tone. Bravo AMY. heehee.

My Accomplishment: I learn how to use a blue tooth.

Today I played my violin in front of an audience, but I didn't play alone though. Good for me. I would have made lots of embarrassment towards myself if I play alone. God knows how much I messed up. lol. So... my performance was good and I spent like 2 hours at the area where we were performing. It was kind of boring since there wasn't much to do and none of my friends are in the orchestra or any other types of performing arts.

I'm sorry I haven't been posting much lately cause of how terrible my schedule has been. It practically collapse on me and now I'm barely holding ground. I hope that my followers still read my comments and stuff. Also, please write a comment so I know that someone is actually reading my blog. It will brighten up my moody depressing days.

----- Amy

I practically disappear for the last 2 months. I was busy and too lazy to post stuff, but i guess i'll start blogging again for fun sakes. Today i don't have anything to blog about... so i'll talk about it next time. Ciao. lol.